


And That Was The Moment Geralt Finally Heard

by wow_thats_gay



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: A lot of Angst tho im real sorry, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Jaskier | Dandelion, Emotionally Constipated Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Episode Fix-It: s01e06 Rare Species, Geralt has a lot of feelings as well hes just bad at it, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Apologizes, Height Differences, How Do I Tag, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Ill add more as I go along - Freeform, Insecure Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Jaskier is very sad and has a lot of feelings, Jaskier | Dandelion Has Feelings, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M, Post-Episode: S01E06 Rare Species, Tags Are Hard, Top Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Touch-Starved Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, a little bit, gods its been so long, here we go i guess, i know they dont have too much of a height difference but let my 5 ft ass project on jaskier, kinda a fix it for the whole show, theres a lot here oo boy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:54:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25160449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wow_thats_gay/pseuds/wow_thats_gay
Summary: DISCLAIMER: I HAVE NO IDEA IF I WILL EVER FINISH THIS FIC SO READ AND HOPEFULLY ENJOY AT YOUR OWN RISKthere are about a billion post ep 6 fics but ya know what, i think the world could use at least one more.Jaskier decides to go off to the coast by himself, while playing at a tavern a familiar face walks in, one drunk night later and Geralt has his trusty bard back by his side again. Having almost lost each other once, maybe their reunion will be enough for them to actually talk about their feelings. and ya know have gay sex and all that.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	And That Was The Moment Geralt Finally Heard

**Author's Note:**

> He didn't look at the bard, and he didn't have to for Jaskier to feel like his chest was caving in. Jaskiers senses drowned in thoughts of Geralt. In feelings unsaid, good and bad. He felt his fingers slow momentarily, and the silence was unbearable for the brief second it was there. And in that brief, fleeting, fleeting second, there was a bright blinding yellow, on an ocean of blue. Like the warm sun on the rich sea. The whole world seemed to stop for just an instant. Until Jaskiers hands fumbled another chord and Geralt shifted his eyes to the ground.

Chapter One: The Sun and The Sea

Jaskier had made his way to this tavern a few days prior. The last one he was staying at proved to have a much tougher crowd than he had anticipated. He hadn't stayed long, as accustomed as he was to having things thrown at him he had never grown to enjoy the sensation of a stale bit of bread making contact with his face. Jaskier was of course very pretty and could not risk any serious injury to his complexion. So he wandered over to the next town, which is where he was now. 

Jaskier had never cared much for this part of Temeria. The east proved to be dull with village after town after hamlet. They all looked the same, felt the same, the ale tasted the same at every inn he stayed at. It was all just so lonely and dull traveling alone. The only thing that made Jaskier happy was performing for any audience that would have him. 

He was grateful for a few generous patrons whose donations had given him enough for a room. He had been frugal these past few months saving what he could and usually getting the cheapest rooms he could find. Jaskier had gone back to how he was before, just barely scraping along, and without Geralt and songs of their adventures, larger and more generous crowds were hard to come by. Jaskier enjoyed performing for smaller crowds too, it was more intimate and he felt like his music reached them easier that way. A small inn on the outskirts of some city was the perfect place to perform his love songs and other classics that he had picked up along the road. 

Jaskier had stopped singing the songs he had written about his adventures with Geralt. As much as the crowds enjoyed them, he couldn't help but think of the last time he had seen Geralt whenever he sang of their many exciting escapades. Their parting had been less than amicable, Geralt's harsh words echoed in Jaskier’s mind like a chorus that was stuck in his head. 

If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands

Occasionally a listener would ask for a song about the famed White Wolf, Jaskier would politely decline, saying that he couldn't remember any at the moment and asking if there were any other requests to be had. When Geralt had turned away from Jaskier that day, it was made very clear that Jaskier didn't fit in his world. After spending many days and nights traveling together, recording their adventures in verse, Jaskier had grown used to having the brooding and imposing figure of Geralt next to him. Now Jaskier traveled alone, he missed having company, even if that company was mostly silent; and when he did talk it was almost entirely griping about Jaskier's never-ceasing voice. 

Sometimes along the road, Jaskier would say something, some stupid line, or part of a story, and out of the corner of his eye, he would see Geralt's lips twitch up ever so slightly. And that was all the payment he needed. Originally Jaskier had traveled with Geralt in hopes of gaining more renown and fame across The Continent. He did believe that his songs would improve the world's image of Geralt. But being his barker, as Jaskier phrased it, was more of a guise so that Geralt would see his presence of some use rather than a pure annoyance. 

Throughout their travels, Jaskier grew to enjoy Geralt's company more and more and he hoped he could say the same for Geralt. But as things stood now it seemed like that was wishful thinking. After the ordeal in Cintra with the child surprise, Geralt had left without saying goodbye. Jaskier stumbled around for a few months. Stumbled was probably a nice word for it. At first, he would spend his days performing trying to make a living, being fairly successful. His nights were empty no matter where he was. Bar or brothel or anywhere Geralt wasn't. He missed the rhythmic sound of stone against silver as Geralt sharpened his blade. He missed the long walks through miles of forested paths. He missed having an audience to all of his thoughts, even a reluctant one. He missed Geralt.

In years passed, the Countess de Stael proved to be a much less convincing muse than Geralt had ever been. A relationship almost entirely based on physical intimacy made for even emptier nights. Infatuation made for good poems and songs, but after one night of drinking himself sober, Jaskier claimed that he had never loved her at all. And so, as any reasonable woman would have, she left. So with nothing keeping him where he had been, Jaskier set off in hopes of finding Geralt. After an incident with a djinn and an exquisitely beautiful sorceress, they traveled together again as they had before; and Jaskiers nights were no longer empty.

A fateful encounter with a man named Borch and his two lovely companions lead Jaskier and Geralt once again to Yennifer of Vengerberg. Who, as gorgeous a woman as she was, was not someone he liked. While traveling through the mountains Jaskier felt something that he hadn’t before, an ugly burning in his chest. Every time he saw the way that Geralt looked at her, he felt it. He knew Geralt felt it too, whenever he saw her with Sir Eyck. There was a mean pang in his ribcage when he was told Geralt went to Yennifer's tent by one of the dwarves. He had felt jealousy before, but this time seemed an unyielding pain, stronger than he could ever remember. He knew why, but it wasn't the kind of thing he would admit to himself without putting up a fight.

He knew that Geralt loved her. He knew that Geralt probably still loved her now. That thought filled Jaskier with the same unending burning. In a final pathetic attempt to get Geralt to see how he felt, Jaskier proposed they leave the dragon hunt and head to the coast so he could try to prove his worth. Prove that he was more than just a barker or an annoyance, but a friend, someone who cared about Geralt very much. Someone who wanted to see Geralt happy. 

Life is too short   
Do what pleases you, while you can

Composing your next song

No, I'm just   
I'm just trying to work out what pleases me

The truth was that Jaskier had worked out what pleased him a long time ago. 

Going to the coast, with or without Geralt, was preferable to staying in the cold and rough terrain of the mountains near King Niedamir's domain. So that's where Jaskier went. He was in no hurry and had no horse, so he would stop at every inn he found to try and make a profit and get a decent meal. And that is where he was now, trying to get a few spare coins and some dinner. He certainly didn't expect his day to be graced by the presence of a familiar brooding and imposing figure. 

Jaskier hadn't felt like singing at the moment, the mood of the tavern called more for instrumentals rather than a ballad or jig anyhow. So he plucked at his lute strumming a nice ambiance into the air. It sounded like a welcome. Jaskier heard the door to the inn open, and all at once, there wasn't enough welcome in all The Continent to make Jaskier feel comfortable. A few heads turned but they didn't dare look Geralt straight on. A piercing gaze felt as though it stabbed through the heart of anybody who dared lock eyes with him. 

He didn't look at the bard, and he didn't have to for Jaskier to feel like his chest was caving in. Jaskier senses drowned in thoughts of Geralt. In feelings unsaid, good and bad. He felt his fingers slow momentarily, and the silence was unbearable for the brief second it was there. And in that brief, fleeting, fleeting second, there was a bright blinding yellow, on an ocean of blue. Like the warm sun on the rich sea. The whole world seemed to stop for just an instant. Until Jaskiers hands fumbled another chord and Geralt shifted his eyes to the ground.

Finishing the song as quickly as he could, Jaskiers feet moved before his mind could catch up, he found himself pulling up a barstool next to Geralt. Who gave him a half questioning half teasing look which was very in character for the White Wolf. It's something he would've done anytime Jaskier came to him and Geralt knew he wanted something or had a question to ask. It filled Jaskier with an unbearable sense of nostalgia. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” Jaskier said, it was almost like a whisper. His voice sounded so soft, exactly like it had upon that mountain; begging Geralt to leave. 

“Hmm,” it's quiet but there, contemplative and dismissive all at once.

It hurt, right down to his very core, Jaskier ached hearing his voice again. Even in the slightest. In his memories, Geralt's voice had become hard to hear. It was only clear when he thought of the last time they had seen one another.

“Look, Geralt, I'll be quick. I’m sorry,” He stopped when he saw Geralt turn up at him trying to meet his eye. Jaskier refused, he just stared at his hands, shaking in his lap.

“The last thing I wanted was to see you hurt, and I'm sorry Yennifer and you didn't work out, I'm sorry if my presence was salt in the wound, and I'm sorry for sticking around when I overstayed a welcome I was never given.” Jaskier got up to return to his lute. 

He felt a hand grip his wrist, it was strong but gentle. Jaskier could go if he wanted, but the touch alone was enough to freeze him where he stood. The ambiance of the tavern grew distant. It was the other way around now, Jaskier dared Geralt to meet his eyes. But, Geralt's gaze was fixed to his tankard of Viziman Champion.

“It's not your fault.” it's a whisper expelled with all the force of a shout. 

There is an emptiness and overwhelming sincerity to it all at once. And then Geralt let go, it was suddenly as if he never realized he took hold of Jaskiers arm in the first place. At the loss of contact, the pain in Jaskier's nose threatened to turn into real tears, which in turn threatened to spill over. He took a deep inhale to steady himself. 

“I know,” Jaskier looked up and gave a soft smile to the ceiling. “But it wasn't yours either.”

He walked away to his stool at the other side of the tavern and promptly picked up his lute. Flashing a sad smile in Geralt's direction, he began to strum the beginnings of ‘Toss a Coin’.

A few hours after sundown 

Jaskier had finished performing almost as soon as the sun hid himself behind the earth. Now the moon was out, her silvery gaze covering all of The Continent. After drinking enough cherry cordial to feel fuzzy and a little nauseous. the door to the tavern swung open and the night air filled the tavern. Covered in moonlight and monster insides and blood was Geralt. Jaskier eyed him as covertly as he could as Geralt walked over to the in-keep.

“Sorry, 35 orens won't get you a room” 

“I can give you the rest tomorrow once I get paid for my contract”

“No exceptions, Witcher. You either pay in full or get out”

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was instinct. Whatever it was, it was stronger than Jaskiers better senses. It moved his legs for him before his mind could tell him no. Placing a pouch of coin on the bar counter Jaskier shot the stout and balding tavern-keeper a smile.

“That’ll cover my tab, an a room for this‘un” He slurred.

“I can’t let you do that Jaski-” Geralt started only to be interrupted by a calloused but delicate finger on his lips.

“Lemme do this, please Geralt. S’least I can do after everythin,” intoxicated as he was, Jaskiers voice held untold amounts of weight. Too much weight for someone so tiny.

Geralt's eyebrows furrowed in something akin to concern laced with frustration. He let out a sigh, giving up.

“Thank you,” He spoke quietly without looking at Jaskier.

The barkeep slid a key across the counter with a slightly irked expression on his face. Geralt took it and headed up the stairs promptly. Jaskier returned to his stool and took a sip from his glass. Tiredness creeping upon him from the base of his spine. His thoughts turned once again to that of Geralt.

He had spent a lot of his time away from Geralt being angry. Anyone would be if they were in Jaskier’s shoes, he had only tried to help and was met with untold amounts of hostility. On his way back down from the mountain, he walked slowly and didn't stop until his feet wouldn’t carry him anymore. He laid out his red doublet on a fairly soft patch of ground and prayed that Geralt wouldn't walk past him on his way down. 

As soon as Jaskier closed his eyes he saw Geralt, face full of rage, words full of acid. They had cut deep, deeper than Geralt could've known. Twenty years and that's how it is between them. Twenty years of traveling together, on and off. Twenty years of stories, of shared bedrolls and meals. Twenty years of Jaskier pining for Geralt, loving Geralt from afar. 

Almost as soon as it had been there the picture behind Jaskiers eyes changed. Geralt smiling at one of his stories. Jaskier patching up one of Geralt's wounds. All at once every song he had ever written about the famous White Wolf played in his head. And Jaskier wept. Alone and cold in The Dragon Mountains of Malleore, with no clue where he was going next, he cried. 

He cried for all of the memories he had of Geralt. He cried for how much he loved Geralt. He cried for how unfair it all was. But most of all Jaskier cried because no matter how angry he was, he could not bring himself to hate Geralt. Jaskier fell in love with Geralt the moment he saw him. Fell in love again when Geralt saved him from being killed by Fillavandrel. And again when he joined Geralt for another adventure after. He fell in love with Geralt every time he saw him, eyes black from potion or clothes ruined from a hunt. He loved Geralt now, and it wasn't fair.

The next morning he awoke after a restless night and uneasy dreams. Making the long hike down the mountain he was exhausted and sore from the previous day. While walking through a wooded area Jaskier managed to stumble over the roots of a very old looking tree. He reached out his hands to cushion his fall, but he was a little too late. He managed to tear through the fabric of his pants in 3 places. 2 scraped knees and a bloody and bruised hip on the right side. His hands were the worst part of it all. Not only had Jaskier scraped up the base of his palms but he seemed to find the most painful way possible to do it. There was dirt under bits of skin that hadn't fully come off in the impact to the ground and they stung like mad when Jaskier cleaned them off in a nearby stream. 

He was frustrated, he was cold, and he was tired. Jaskier just wanted things to go back to how they were before all of this had happened. Before the mountains, before the djinn, before the feast in Cintra. He wanted it to be Geralt and him again, traveling together like it always was. He cursed at himself for the thought. He cursed himself for missing Geralt. Whom Jaskier couldn't imagine was missing him at all right now.

He had dragged himself to the bottom of the mountain by nightfall. Geralt must have been taking the scenic route because Roach was right where she had been left. Jaskier stroked her mane delicately and pressed a gentle kiss into her head. With tears stinging his eyes he whispered a goodbye. Roach bumped her head gently against his and Jaskier smiled softly. 

“I’ll miss you too old girl, but I’m afraid I'm not wanted anymore.”

With that Jaskier had made up his mind. He would head to the coast near Oxenfurt. And he would do his very best to forget all about Geralt and how much he still loved him.

\----------

Jaskier saw a dark spot on his trousers where a tear had landed. He knocked back the rest of his drink and headed for his room. Stumbling up the stairs he couldn't decide if he was angry or sad or happy or anything. After pondering on it he concluded that he wasn't angry, but he was indeed upset. He was sad at the thought that this was the last time he may see Geralt. And he was happy that he could do him this one final kindness. 

Jaskier opened the door and tripped his way into bed, lazily drawing the covers over him. He thought about what Geralt had meant to say when he told Jaskier that it wasn't his fault. What wasn't his fault, the djinn, the child surprise, Yennifer? Geralt getting angry and telling Jaskier he didn't want him around anymore? All of it? 

Jaskier knew he wasn't to be blamed for any of it, but he was partially responsible for some of the items on that list. All except Geralt getting angry, so that's what he told himself Geralt meant in saying that ‘it’ wasn't his fault. And he had meant what he said in answer. It wasn't Geralt's fault either, Jaskier didn't approach the situation with as much delicacy as he probably should have. If it wasn't Geralt's fault for getting angry and it wasn't Jaskiers fault for making Geralt mad, who was to blame? Some higher power, Melitele herself? 

This was not a question Jaskier knew how to answer sober, nonetheless drunk and piss tired. He wanted to be mad at something, somebody, he wished he could be mad at Geralt. He wanted to be mad at himself too but his more rational side made sure that never happened. 

(thank somebody for that because a self-pitying bard is not a fun bard to be around)

He was mad at the situation, he was mad that Geralt loved Yen and not him. But he wasn't mad at Geralt or Yennifer. Destiny bound them as much as any djinn wish ever could. It might as well have been Jaskiers fault that the two had ever met, considering he was the reason why. It might as well have been Geralt's fault for being too chivalrous and trying to save Yennifer. It might as well have been Yennifer's fault for going to dangerous lengths to get what she wanted. And it might have been the djinns fault for existing and granting Geralt's last resort of a wish.

Nobody was to blame, things happened, and sometimes nobody had control over the outcome of a situation. This truth was harder to accept than the possibility that Geralt meant everything he said. Jaskier was powerless to the ways of the universe, powerless to destiny. He could push against it, try to get his way, but destiny always pushed back harder. And one does eventually get tired of swimming upstream. 

He wasn't sure where he stood with Geralt as of now. All of their travels felt worlds away and like yesterday all at the same time. Jaskier wouldn't push himself into Geralt's life again if he wasn’t wanted. If it wasn't what his destiny had in mind. Jaskier had grown tired of swimming upstream.

And yet, walking over to Geralt today seemed as easy as walking over to him in Posada. 

Jaskier had no idea what his destiny was. If it was to sing songs of Geralt and spread his fame. If it was to sing of something else, of love, of other adventures. Maybe he would teach, maybe he would keep traveling, he didn't know what he would do right now. But the universe had led him away from Geralt and he was terrified that today was trying to tell him that there had been a mistake. 

It was a funny thought, in all actuality he doubted the universe ever made mistakes. However, it felt like a mistake to fall in love with Geralt in the first place. It had been an accident, following Geralt around was part of the plan, everything else wasn't. Jaskier never planned on getting accustomed to seeing Geralt's face every morning. He never planned to grow so fond of their time together that it was all he thought about in the winters when they were parted. 

It was a mistake to fall for Geralt, whom Jaskier knew would never love him back. It was a mistake to run into Geralt today. And it was probably a mistake to pay for his room. But Jaskier doubted he would remember much of that tomorrow morning. And with that, he fell into a deep sleep.

\----------

Jaskier was wearing a light and loose shirt and a pair of pants that went just past his knees. His shirt was an off-white and his pants a deep teal. He had no doublet and no shoes on. His feet sunk into the sand below them. He took a step forward, the sand burning under the sun. Jaskier feet left soft prints once he got close enough to the sea where the sand was wet and cool. He watched as a tiny wave crested and crashed. He smelled the salt in the air and closed his eyes, filling himself up with its scent and the sound of the water. He listened to the sea-birds sing their shrill song overhead. 

Another small wave and the tide inched closer, threatening to touch Jaskiers toes. He took a few steps back until he stepped back into something. No, not something, someone. His breath caught in his throat. Turning around he saw Geralt, with a soft smile on his face. His hands reached for Jaskier’s waist and snaked their way around the small of his back pulling him closer until he was pressed flush against Geralt’s chest. He has no choice but to look up at Geralt, who regarded him fondly with an admiration Jaskier had never seen on his face. 

“We're here, Geralt. We're really here.” 

Jaskier eyes shined as he beamed tearfully, his hands on Geralt’s chest, gripping the fabric of his thin black shirt. Geralt closed his eyes, his eyelashes catching in the sun and creating a delicate shadow on his cheek. He leaned in, pressing his forehead against Jaskier's. 

“And there is nowhere else I would rather be, my lark.”

And then as if it were nothing Geralt pressed his lips to Jaskier's. It felt like something he had done 1000 times before, it was relaxed, but it held so much love. It was enough to make Jaskiers heart jump right out of his chest. He melted into the embrace and hummed softly in the back of his throat. He closed his eyes too, gripping Geralt’s shirt tighter, letting the fabric bunch between his fingers.

All at once, Jaskier felt his feet lift off the ground, he felt the cold and cruel arms of the ocean grip him. Yanking him away from Geralt and pulling him into the current. He held on with all his might but it wasn't enough, the tide was too strong. The water around Jaskier turned black and he couldn't see an inch in front of his face. The salty water stung his eyes. His nose reeled in pain as he tried to inhale. 

Panic set in, Jaskier lost all sense of where he was. He couldn't tell which was up and which was down, wherever he tried to swim there was just more inky blackness. And he felt his head grow tight and his lungs grow desperate the longer he remained underwater. There was no exit, no escape, no way for him to get back to the surface. He cried out, there was no use, nobody to save him, and he was powerless to save himself. He reached out for Geralt, for somebody, for anybody. He would've allowed for Valdo Marx to save him if it meant air in his lungs.

He let the water fill up his lungs and there was a loud banging in his head, one, two, three. It sounded like a drum being beaten right next to his head. And he felt his eyes close and his arms go limp. He gave up, consigned himself to his fate. At least now he could die happy, he could die knowing Geralt shared his affections.

Jaskier's eyes shot open and he immediately rolled over and jolted upwards so that his face would no longer be smothered by his pillow. He inhaled deeply gasping for breath. 

*Knock, Knock, Knock* 

One, Two, Three, just like his dream. Shaking away the last of his exhaustion he scrambled towards the door as fast as he could. He opened it and light from the tavern poured into his room. His eyes screamed at him and he realized the staggering headache he had and the mild queasy feeling in his stomach. Squinting, he looked in the doorway and saw Geralt.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi thank you so much for reading this, im going to be very very honest, this may very well never get updated again, i will try my best to finish this, but i give no promises that i actually will. I really am very fond of this first chapter ive written and i wouldnt want to tarnish that by creating a half-assed rest of this fic. anyways hopefully you enjoyed this, leave comments if you like, i dont bite i promise. they may motivate me to write more of this too, so by all means go ahead. I hope yall have a good day, go drink some water or eat something if you havent, take your meds if you have meds to take. 
> 
> all the best,  
> -Jude


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